Pay raises, missing bikis, and a lasso full of bad juju: the East Oʻahu Corral is fixin’ to get messy. Because, on this side of town, no one knows how to just ride off into the sunset.

This year’s scariest holiday floats aren’t made of papier-mâché. They’re built from Hawaiʻi’s headlines and they’re coming down Main Street to haunt your pocket book.

Submitted for your consideration: a civic dream of steel and concrete. A lesson in how not to build a future, now arriving on a lonely track… in the Skyline Zone.

Built backwards, started 30 years too late and handled by the most bumbling assortment of public and private officials imaginable, and now—with yet another lawsuit to slow it down and expand its cost to the taxpayer—it’s no wonder the Honolulu Rail project is making everyone a little crazy.